Sunday, April 17, 2011

Rockstar Valet Tips

Written by Chad:

As Dana and I prepare for our next adventure, I have taken a 2nd job as a valet and limo driver.

The essence of Las Vegas can be summed up in my typical week:

A couple of nights a week I have executives from major casinos, banks and hospitals asking me for advice on how to motivate their people and become more successful personally and professionally.

The rest of the week I park cars for strippers and run Jersey Shore wannabes back and forth to parties and tanning beds...

....and on Sunday I go to church.

That’s Vegas, baby!

I have had a number of requests to blog my experience on the famous Las Vegas Strip but, and I am not kidding about this, I had to sign a non-disclosure agreement covering all valet-related trade secrets and work events. Chalk it up to "valet client privilege".

Let's just say that parts of Las Vegas really are only about sex, drugs, and rock & roll.

If there is one thing that I can share it is what every valet wishes you knew…

  • If you don't have cash- don't valet.

  • If you are not going to tip a valet don't give some lame excuse and tell them that you are going to "run to the ATM and come right back", just get in your car and drive away.

  • Don’t hand a valet your ticket and ask them to bring around your Ferrari, Rolls Royce, etc, You drive a mini van, just accept it.

  • Don’t think that you are cool for giving a valet a $2 bill- It's not my birthday and you are not my grandma. Two bucks is Two bucks.

  • The valet doesn't care if the shiny quarter you just gave them has your home state on the back- I am not a coin collector and I don't care.

  • Your not tipping a valet for how far they have to run to get your car- your tipping them so YOU don't have to walk back from the 4th floor.

  • The valet cannot blow into the breath-a-lizer attached to your engine. I am sure the judge had good reason to have it installed in your car.

  • If you lose your ticket….. ….Don't think that you are the only one that has a key that looks like yours. There are 12 identical Mercedes keys in my booth right now. A: If you want to identify your key quickly put it on a unique key chain. B: Don’t be surprised if we I can't find your keys right away.There is a reason we gave you a ticket. C: Expect to show I.D.-- What if someone else had come out and pointed to YOUR car? You would want me to check their I.D. wouldn't you? D: Don't tell the valet that you drive the White Chevy Tahoe and expect them to find it. We don't park cars by color or size, or in alphabetical order.
And there you have it.... Life as a Rockstar Valet.


Sheena said...

Awesome! I bet you seriously have some juicy stories...darn those non-disclosures!! Those are some great tips however--I am sure you see it all!!!

::David and Erin:: said...

You should write a book with your stories...I would pay good money to read it. Hilarious!