As Dana and I prepare for our next adventure, I have taken a 2nd job as a valet and limo driver.
The essence of Las Vegas can be summed up in my typical week:
A couple of nights a week I have executives from major casinos, banks and hospitals asking me for advice on how to motivate their people and become more successful personally and professionally.
The rest of the week I park cars for strippers and run Jersey Shore wannabes back and forth to parties and tanning beds...
....and on Sunday I go to church.
That’s Vegas, baby!
I have had a number of requests to blog my experience on the famous Las Vegas Strip but, and I am not kidding about this, I had to sign a non-disclosure agreement covering all valet-related trade secrets and work events. Chalk it up to "valet client privilege".
Let's just say that parts of Las Vegas really are only about sex, drugs, and rock & roll.
If there is one thing that I can share it is what every valet wishes you knew…
- If you don't have cash- don't valet.
- If you are not going to tip a valet don't give some lame excuse and tell them that you are going to "run to the ATM and come right back", just get in your car and drive away.
- Don’t hand a valet your ticket and ask them to bring around your Ferrari, Rolls Royce, etc, You drive a mini van, just accept it.
- Don’t think that you are cool for giving a valet a $2 bill- It's not my birthday and you are not my grandma. Two bucks is Two bucks.
- The valet doesn't care if the shiny quarter you just gave them has your home state on the back- I am not a coin collector and I don't care.
- Your not tipping a valet for how far they have to run to get your car- your tipping them so YOU don't have to walk back from the 4th floor.
- The valet cannot blow into the breath-a-lizer attached to your engine. I am sure the judge had good reason to have it installed in your car.
- If you lose your ticket….. ….Don't think that you are the only one that has a key that looks like yours. There are 12 identical Mercedes keys in my booth right now. A: If you want to identify your key quickly put it on a unique key chain. B: Don’t be surprised if we I can't find your keys right away.There is a reason we gave you a ticket. C: Expect to show I.D.-- What if someone else had come out and pointed to YOUR car? You would want me to check their I.D. wouldn't you? D: Don't tell the valet that you drive the White Chevy Tahoe and expect them to find it. We don't park cars by color or size, or in alphabetical order.